What’s Your “Story?”
I recently gave one of my clients an interesting exercise: I asked him to write his “story.”
I believe that everybody has a story, that we all are walking pieces of non-fiction; parts biography, parts memoir, parts how-to instruction manuals. And, as the authors of these pieces, we write the experiences we live out.
I like giving this exercise to clients to work on. For this particular client, I held the intention that he would see the elements of his story (history) that he could change (re-write) and begin to create his ideal life.
One of the things I tell people about my process of becoming a coach is that I was my first client. And I did this very exercise on myself.
My story, at the time, was that I was working a demanding corporate job. I was working 60-70 hour work weeks quite often. I was also attending graduate school (which I still am doing at this time), and the classes were moving at an accelerated rate. Besides that, I was conducting intuitive readings, consulting with people about dreams and their meanings, and offering Reiki treatments part-time.
Having so much on my plate, especially the demands of the job, I experienced repeated bouts of burn-out.
When I decided to become a life coach, I sat down and wrote an ideal day in my ideal life. It sprung from the inner question, “If I could live an ideal day in my ideal life, how would it go? What would it look like?”
This is what I wrote:
- I wake up at 7am. I lay still and recall what dreams I had. I write them down in my journal.
- I
get up and go to the kitchen, and make some tea. - I return to the bedroom to do some journaling, either working with the dreams, or some reflection. I do this for an hour.
- I meditate, listening to some Buddhist meditation music.
- I get dressed and have breakfast, so I can start my workday by 9 am.
- I walk down the hall to my home office. I do various things pertaining to my business-practice, depending on the day of the week: one day is office work; another, writing; most of the time, though, is devoted to seeing clients.
- I am successful, but live simply and comfortably, still in the town home I fell in love with when I first walked through it.
- I work until 1 pm, taking a lunch break for a couple of hours. I return to work about 3 pm, and do more of the same work I did earlier in the day, until about 6 or 7 pm.
- I may eat out or at home, go to a movie or watch TV, or curl up with a good book to read. I make time to volunteer at the nearby Reiki clinic every week. I spend time with friends and family. I go to church every Sunday. I’m usually retiring for the day at 11 pm.
When I stopped writing, I looked at the story I’d written. I asked myself in what ways was the story I’d just finished writing similar to my current story (the life I was living out), and in what ways were the stories different. I considered which story I liked better, so I could work on the revision (re-vision is a way of reframing for me, meaning to see again, in a different way). The question became, “What can I do now to bring more of my ideal life into my current way of living?”
On my days off from my corporate job, I woke up at 7 am, worked on my dreams, had my tea, and worked on the business-practice, just as I’d written. I looked at my corporate job, and asked how it supported the life I wanted to live, and I realized it didn’t in a lot of ways.
So I made a shift in my thinking.
If, in my ideal life, I’m a businessman and entrepreneur, then I need to see myself as that now and have my current life reflect that.
What did I do? I devoted more time to my business-practice, and went part-time with the corporate job, gaining more work-life balance, which I really needed.
Writing out your story is good for another reason: you get to see what you tell yourself about yourself that can keep you where you’re at in life; these things show up in your story as limited beliefs, outdated thoughts, and unconscious programming (old tapes) and conditioning.
When you notice these things, a great question to ask yourself is, “Is this true for me now?” It was at one point, because you were living it out, but because it once was true doesn’t mean it still is.
So, as we move into a new year, I encourage you to look at your current “story,” write down how you see your life in the upcoming year, and begin to take small action steps toward making the ideal the standard.
Your coach and fellow “storyteller,”
jahsun
December 28, 2011 at 9:44 pmGreat post.
I think I will take on this challenge — writing my story.
I’m interested to see what comes up for me.
Thanks ~
James
December 28, 2011 at 10:32 pmJahSun,
Thanks for reading and the response. I’m glad you enjoyed the post. I enjoyed writing it!
I am excited that you are going to try the exercise. I’d be interested in hearing about what you discover and what changes you want to make to your story as a result. Your story is just a part of your life’s greatest work–you.
A fellow “work in progress,”
James
Janae
January 1, 2012 at 12:44 pmWow! Great thinking! JK
James
January 2, 2012 at 8:50 pmDear Janae,
Thank you for the comment. One of the exciting things about writing a blog is that I have a forum to share my thoughts. I hope you continue to return and read more of the thoughts that rattle around in my head.
Best to you,
James
Flip
January 1, 2012 at 4:41 pmGreat insight. Relieved I’m on the same side as you.
James
January 2, 2012 at 8:53 pmDear Flip,
Thank you for the comment. I’m glad my insights have resonated with you. It relieves me to know that there are like-minded people out there, appreciating the thoughts I’m sharing. Hope you continue to read and enjoy future posts.
Your friend on the same side,
James
K Henderson-Rice
December 29, 2011 at 12:44 amWow, I will need some time to digest all of this. I love the idea of writing your story – there’s something about seeing your life on paper that is enlightening. Thanks for sharing.
Luckie
January 1, 2012 at 5:31 amI will be putting this dazzlnig insight to good use in no time.
James
January 1, 2012 at 8:51 amDear Luckie,
I am so glad to hear that you will be using the exercise of writing your story; it really can be life changing. But, best of all, you get to see the story you tell yourself about yourself through the way you live your life.
I would love to hear what you discover and the changes that you implement to create your best life, which is also the greatest work you will ever “write.”
All my best to you,
James
Rosa
February 25, 2012 at 10:32 pmDo you have a facebook fan page? I looked for one on twitter but could not discover one, I would really like to become a fan!
James
February 26, 2012 at 12:43 amDear Rosa,
Thank you for expressing that you want to become a fan, if I have a facebook page. Yes, there is a page for LifePlan. You can find it here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/LifePlan-Intuitive-Life-Coaching/191783940876532
And here’s my twitter page, since you were looking there as well: https://twitter.com/#!/JamesHimm
Thank you for your interest, and I hope to keep you interested with future posts.
Best to you,
James
Happy
January 1, 2012 at 12:16 pmI thank you humbly for sharing your wisdom JJWY
James
January 2, 2012 at 8:57 pmDear Happy,
Thank you for the comment. I enjoy getting to share what I have learned, through my experiences, with other people. I also enjoy it when people appreciate the material. I hope you continue to come back and read future entries.
Best to you,
James
James
January 2, 2012 at 10:09 pmDear K,
Thank you, again, for taking the time to read the post and comment. I felt the same way when I did the exercise; there is something about seeing the words on paper, in black and white, that is undeniable. I always say there is power in the written word, and even more so when the words are your own. The path of self-discovery is enlightening, and I discovered this can be a useful tool along the way.
Thank you for your support of the blog. Please keep coming back and sharing your thoughts.
Your fellow traveler on the path,
James
Gerri
January 1, 2012 at 5:55 amFree knowledge like this doesn’t just help, it promotes democracy. Thank you.
James
January 1, 2012 at 8:46 amDear Gerri,
Thank you for the kind and inspiring words. I am very flattered. I hope you continue to read the blog and enjoy it.
Yours in promoting democracy,
James
Julia
January 4, 2012 at 7:14 pmWow.. I came here to read due to yrs & Drisana’s dialogue on FB. As always, U are a warm and bright star in my life. I notice that I do NOT want to write my Life Story so guess what’s up for me to do ?!?! Ha Ha !!
U’ve been on my heart/mind for weeks now; I’ve intended to call and didn’t. No excuse. I will see you soon. Your sis, J
James
January 5, 2012 at 9:56 pmJ,
Thank you for taking the time to drop by and browse the blog. It’s also nice to know that the status updates on facebook are helping to get the blog attention!
I like that you are aware of not wanting to write your life story at this time, but that you guess you might at some point. The point of the exercise (should you choose to accept it–I like that line from “Mission: Impossible”) is to get you to see how you envision the life you want to live versus the life you are living, and then asking yourself, “What changes can I make now to live more of the life I want than the life I have?” As we say in the circles we travel, “Whenever you do so, it is the right (and Divine) time.”
Thank you for the kind words. You have been so supportive of the things I have done over the years, and it is appreciated.
I look forward to seeing you soon,
James
Adriana
February 26, 2012 at 2:10 pmthanks for sharing!
James
March 11, 2012 at 11:52 pmDear Adriana,
You are most welcome.
Best to you,
James
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