I like having my hands in or near water; that’s when the most inspirational thoughts seem to come to me. These moments occur when I am washing the dishes by hand, or in the shower and washing my hair. These inspirational moments prove to be wonderful examples of how a life experience can become a valuable lesson later on. The most recent inspirational thought came to me while shaving.

My Life Lesson About Exposure

I suddenly went back in my mind to the moment when I first caught the chicken pox. Now, most of you might be thinking, “Big deal…I had the chicken pox when I was a kid, too.” But here’s the thing…I was 27 years old. And knowing what I know now from the experience, getting chicken pox as an adult can be life-threatening.

Getting exposed to chicken pox happened when I first moved to South Carolina from New Jersey 20 years ago. I was living with my brother while I was in my transitional phase of finding both a new job and a new place to call home. While there, one day my niece, Jasmine, asked me to “come and see her bumps.” Little did I know those “bumps” were the chicken pox—and that was all it took. Now, mind you, all the other adults in the house were immune—except yours truly. So, there I was, with both my niece and nephew, recovering from exposure to chicken pox. From what I can recall, I drank a lot of ginger ale and wore socks on my hands to keep from scratching myself.

I wondered, as I traveled down this part of memory lane, what the purpose of the trip was. It was then that my Inner Coach spoke up. “It’s the same thing when you have a dream of living your life differently: You have to be careful who you expose yourself to when you share those dreams.”

Here’s the thing: When you want to make changes in your life that you think or feel would improve your life, not everyone will be supportive. Those people will want to “infect” your dreams with their negative opinions, which are all based on the perceptions of life gained from their own life experiences—which are not yours.

Another thing: When we seek to change, those same people may become uncomfortable with the idea because you will no longer be the person they have become accustomed to you being, and that may threaten their relationship with you. And that will scare them. And they react from that place of fear by “infecting” the dreams you are exposing to them.

What We Need to Consider When We Expose Our Dreams To Others

How can we keep this from happening? Here are some things to consider:

• We can keep our dreams to ourselves just a little longer, as we work on implementing them into our lives. They’re our dreams, so we can hold on to them as long as we need and want to.
• The people we share our dreams with may not get them, may not understand them, may not approve of them. It may be because they have dreams of their own they have not gone after themselves, and there may be underlying jealousy and envy that we are chasing after ours. We may also need to ask ourselves why we would share our dreams with people who are not supportive. Could it be that there is a part of us who thinks and feels the same way about our dreams—and we therefore seek out people who will give those doubts, fears, and insecurities a voice?
• We can also let these same people have their say. It has been my experience, that for the most part, people just want to have their opinions heard. So, honor that process for them. We don’t have to debate or defend our dreams over another person’s opinion–unless there is a part of us that believes what they are saying as truth (which goes back to the previous point).
• Ultimately, we really need to be around and connected (exposed) to people who will support the dreams we have. These would be people who have accomplished the very same thing we are trying to achieve—the people who took their dreams and made them reality. These are our sources of inspiration, our encouragers, our role models. These are the people who have paved the way for us to follow.

Becoming a different person may require us to hang out with different people.

So…who are you exposing yourself to, as you make your dreams a reality?

Your partner in supporting your dreams,

James