Change Your Actions to Align with Personal Responsibility
In the previous installment of my series on the Law of Attraction, I wrote about the “looking outward” process of placing blame–and how you can take those moments where you want to place blame and realize they can be opportunities for you to take responsibility to create positive change in your life.
Realizing that you’ve been placing blame is a step in the right direction because this realization can be a doorway to changing your actions. Every area of your life is subject to change once you decide that you’re going to take responsibility for what’s been going on.
It’s easy to place blame and people do it because they think it absolves them in having a hand in what happened. But what this does is steal your power and create a mentality within your mind that you’re just being carried downstream, along for the ride, helpless to swim against the current and set yourself free.
For every single scenario in life that causes you problems or stress, there is an answer–and that answer lies within yourself. At work, you might have to deal with a colleague that just loves to talk.
They’re always hanging out at your cubicle or in your office chatting ninety miles an hour about stuff they’ve seen, heard, what they’ve bought and they’re riding that gossip train until it’s run dry.
Because we’re taught to be polite, most of us do spend the time we don’t have listening to stuff we shouldn’t listen to. You don’t need to put the blame on that coworker who just won’t be quiet and go away.
The Law of Attraction won’t work for you by waving a fairy wand to make sure all of your work gets completed. If you’re wondering how you can handle a situation like a chatty co-worker so that it doesn’t fall back on you and you fall back on blaming them, you handle it by taking control.
You don’t let them drive your time. You drive it. And it’s not that difficult. You can say something as simple as, “I’d love to sit and listen, but I don’t have time now, so let me let you go and catch you later.”
Your co-worker will get the hint and will leave. If your co-worker doesn’t get that hint, you just say, “I don’t have time to talk, so I’ve got to start working” and then you do just that.
When something goes on in your life that makes you feel the need to place blame, you should immediately stop and re-assess what’s going on. Look to see if it really is someone else’s fault as to why something happened.
Now, sometimes it is, but the majority of the time, it’s not. For example, if you have trouble keeping your home neat and clean, is it really your partner’s fault because he or she isn’t a neat person?
Or, if you pay attention, can you see that you’ll take something out, use the item and then fail to put it back? Look at how you’re contributing to the problem and then work on fixing that.
Remember that you can’t change the way that someone else acts and it’s really not your responsibility anyway to change them. That doesn’t mean you have to put up with certain issues like someone not picking up after themselves.
If finances are an issue, you can take responsibility by taking a financial course and learning all that you can about how to manage your money. When health problems crop up, this is an area that you should address right away.
Many people blame their health problems on lack of time to exercise, not enough money to afford to eat healthy, a job that’s too stressful and so on. If you make excuses, it won’t change anything.
You can take control of your health by making time to exercise. Even if all you do is walk outside your office while eating your lunch as you walk because that’s all the time you have, it’ll still help your health.
Eating healthy, even if you think you can’t afford it is still an option. A lot of people who say they can’t eat healthy don’t plan ahead. You can make healthy meals in advance and freeze them for the times when reaching for junk food is too tempting.
Relationships are a big area where taking personal responsibility is a must. If you’re someone that always seems to end up getting dumped by the person you care you about, there is a way that you can change that so you end up in relationships that are here for the long run.
With relationships, the reason that most men and women end up in a cycle of getting dumped or having to dump a bad relationship is because they make the same choices.
They follow up those choices by making the same mistakes in the relationship. Making bad decisions (such as in your choice of a partner) can lead you to being involved with someone who has issues.
These issues can vary. They can be commitment issues or whatever. But the bottom line is you picked that person because you were drawn to them and then it all starts all over again on the way to getting dumped.
Check to see if you’re doing any of the following things: you show jealousy when your partner talks too long or laughs with someone else. At the heart of jealousy is not usually a fault with your partner.
It’s about you and how that deep down, maybe you don’t really trust them. If you have trust issues because you’ve been burned in the past by someone you cared about, then you have to own that.
You have to take responsibility and work out those trust issues before you go into another relationship or you’re just going to end up getting dumped or dumping that person.
Happiness in a relationship will always seem to elude you because you’re putting the weight of having to make you happy on someone else’s shoulders. It’s not his or her responsibility to make you happy.
It’s yours and no one else is ever going to be able to fill that for you. You might even be playing the blame game with your relationships. You’re always at each other’s throats.
Every little thing becomes a big argument until one of you walks out the door. So you blame that person for leaving you or you blame that person for pushing you out the door.
A relationship, at the heart of it, is a choice. You choose to stay or you choose to leave. No one can force you to do either, so own your actions if you go that route. Look at yourself and see if you’ve allowed yourself to create a relationship cycle.
Do you always go for high drama people? Are you drawn to needy, clingy partners? You want to make sure that you’re not the reason that none of your relationships are lasting.
It can be difficult to face the truth that you can be the problem in a relationship, but if you want to fix the cycle of getting dumped or doing the dumping, then you have to examine the part that you’re playing in this.
